Hiya! So, it is 34 days left until Christmas! What-the-what! As someone who usually starts counting down from 100 days before Christmas, I thought it’d be finally time to address it. This year it doesn’t quite feel the same, which I know has essentially all to do with the state of my brain, but it’s never too late to get the little Christmas cheer back on the road! I’m sure we all need it.

In order for me (but mostly my friends and relatives — but then again who am I kidding) to really get into the mood, I’ve made a very short & sweet Spotify playlist. And the big Christmas-movies binge will commence soon too! On my list are the annual favourites: Home Alone, The Holiday, Arthur Christmas, Love Actually and The Muppets Christmas Carol. Obviously.

And thank goodness for all the annual plans, so that I can try and distract myself with fun things instead of well, the not fun things I can’t properly deal with at the moment. To get myself exited for December I’ve decided to make a run-down of the festivities I get to enjoy the coming month in the ‘read more’ section.

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It is a strange sensation that has crept over me since my little confession. When you hear “suffering from mental issues” you don’t really think about how deeply rooted your own mental issues may possibly have gotten. That is, until you get stopped in your tracks and cannot go on any longer. You have to find another way to live, however dramatic that sounds. Due to all the stigma and my very-human aversion to vulnerability, I find it incredibly hard to talk about these things.

They say it will all make sense again someday. That is sort of what I am trying to trust the universe to do.

So I have resolved to use this blog to remind myself of the beautiful things people and life gives us. Starting with art: music, paintings, film, etc. First and foremost because art has this wonderful ability to speak to your senses and emotions. Maybe I can actually find out what is I’m looking for.

I think I’m going to try once more, with feeling.