Notes from February

February started gloriously: I watched ‘Call Me By Your Name’ in cinema and finished Russell Brand’s ‘Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions’. A good kick-start for a month that was full of contradictory feelings and overcoming hurdles. Luckily I’m starting to get more comfortable with celebrating tiny victories and not feeling so guilty for not ‘living up to my full potential’, learning that I don’t have to do everything the critical perfectionist in me is screaming at me to do. Yay! Let’s tackle crippling self-doubt!

Now that we’ve got the hard stuff out of the way, let’s talk music and movies and books and fun stuff. Because it’s about shifting your focus and being more aware of the good things so you get to feel more feelings of gratitude (= positive) and not as if life shifting past you (= negative). Also, I know this is my personal blog, but I’d love to be able to look back on this blog positively and not just a reflection of my soul.

My favourite artist of this decade probably, Tom Rosenthal, is releasing a new song from his new album online every Friday since this month. The first two were my absolute favourites: Got Gold and Don’t Die Curious. I think thanks to Tom I’ve realised a bit more the importance of the ordinary and how much I miss and want to re-implement the celebration of the everyday magic.

I’ve decided that since March is now here, I need that little annual spring cleaning on the blog. And maybe pick myself up again. I’m not a sad mess if I choose not to. So here we are. I’m not a sad mess any more and I’m working on dealing with my feelings of complete hopelessness and debilitating numbness together with normal, day-to-day thoughts and feelings like ‘what’s for dinner?’ or ‘should I call my friend to binge-watch Queer Eye together?’.

Quotes I stumbled upon in February:

“My soul is a hidden orchestra; I know not what instruments, what fiddlestrings and harps, drums and tamboura I sound and clash inside myself. All I hear is the symphony.”
―Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

“I’d woken up early, and I took a long time getting ready to exist.”
―Fernanod Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

Books read: Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions by Russell Brand, Picture This: How Pictures Work by Molly Bang, Cat in the Rain by Ernest Hemingway, Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell and The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur (see Goodreads)

It being Oscar’s month, I upped my game and did some serious movie-watching. Now there were only two nominated films I saw in February, but I did see a few that films definitely made their mark on my radar. I loved The Fleeting Little Life of Peter Wright and of course Black Panther. Call Me By Your Name was a mind-blowing film that will stay with me forever though. That one scene of the protagonist and his father. Manalive. Tears were streaming. Streaming!

Movies seen:  (I have marked the movies I re-watched with an asterisk) (also see: Letterboxd)

  1. Call Me By Your Name
  2. Guardians of the Galaxy
  3. Beauty and the Beast
  4. Samba
  5. The Fleeting Little Life of Peter Wright
  6. Elle Fanning’s Fan Fantasy
  7. Lady Bird
  8. Girls Trip
  9. Bella Donna’s
  10. The House of Small Cubes
  11. Black Panther
  12. Shaun of the Dead *
  13. Blackmail
  14. Let It Be
  15. Pride

Most listened-to tracks:

Two Door Cinema Club – Bad Decisions
Tom Rosenthal – Don’t Die Curious
Sufjan Stevens – Mystery of Love

What are you excited about in March? Daylight savings time? The arrival of Spring? Nothing whatsoever? I’d like to hear your thoughts! :)

Also yes, this is my current excuse for a monthly recap.

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